Bored & Missing U so Terribly my dearest Jiahan

Haiz..here i am back 2 blogging once again...my Jiahan went to Vietnam n left mi alone n miserable here at S'pore...haiz..keep mi thinking n missing her non-stop...the feeling is so unbearable...i cannot work or eat..even though force myself 2 eat but nv eat finish...keep thinking of her whether she enjoying herself over there n whether her stupid relatives,cousins or pple there got bully her a not...even though i keep stopping n forcing myself 2 stop thinking but i juz can't leh..den wat can i do rite ? Dear i miss u so so much...juz hoping Friday comes fast enough to stop my heartache n yearning for u....i now sitting at my shop here like 1 silly fool...no programmes nothing no one to meet too...quite sad isn't it ? Haha...i choose not to meet anyone ma...dun meet gals or talk 2 any gals...so tat Jia Han will trust mi ma...so tat she will know tat i nv flirt around behind her back....I love U Jia Han !!!!!! FASTER FASTER COME BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!

Cried..Ah Ma...Hw can u say like tis to mi ? ? ?

Today early morning woke up..Dear came 2 my hse...den went to visit Ah Ma liao...aft tat went Velocity & Novena Square 2 wif Dear....shop ard wif her be4 i went back 2 my shop reluctantly...den ltr on at night met up wif Edwin den send Winnie go home,go pick Doraemon & den go pick up Dear at Bugis..coz she working ma....so wait for her lor..aft tat went Hospital again...when i was wif Ah Ma alone..she suddenly told mi to tk gd care..tat she feels so painful & miserable..tat she's dying ....kaoz..my tears dropped immediately...hw can u say tis words...my heart is alrdy painful enuf to see u like tis u noe ma? hw i wish i can give u a few yrs of my life u noe ma ? haiz...went Balestier there 2 eat...followed by sending Dear home den go Geylang Lor 18 pei Doraemon & Edwin to drink n eat herbal jelly or wat ever shit la...den went to Bedok Jetty to relax n cool myself down..i reali reali feel very vexed liao...den Toshiba finally msg mi 2 say sorry...& she said bad things abt Jh..Dear i won't believe it de...even if its the truth it was also in the past...i am stubborn de...we juz will prove her wrong..tat we will last de...k ? No matter wat i will always always stick by ur side..even if u ar wrong i will still be silly enuf to stick there de....dun worry..coz i love being by ur side..i loved being doted by u !!! Today not much mood 2 blog...sorry everyone...i can't stop feeling down...

Happy Birthday to Jin Hui..Mixed Emotions Day...

Ytd was Jin Hui's Birthday...close shop liao went to celebrate his bday at 1819..a pub at Keong Saik Rd...Ronnie the ass,Haixiang the Pig,Edwin,Mei Shan,JH's xiao gu,her frens,my Dear Jiahan...& myself la...sat there relac a while lor..play pool like shit lor...keep on losing..kaoz...be4 tat was at Joo Chiat there..eating wif Edwin & Dear..practically nth i can or like to eat lor..so anyhow ordered a plate of sambal kangkong,onion omelette & 6 otaks 2 share wif Dear lor...poor Dear...sorry leh..make u suffer like tis...den at tat time also send my ex-sec sch fren Winnie back home..all the way kana disturb by mi n Edwin...hahahahaha...den actually is nv go pubbing de..juz bring Jin Hui go eat de...but end up he dun wan go haiz...so entertain him lor..give him face ma...his bday leh..plus he my bro leh...coz i swore 2 stop pubbing n clubbing liao..gonna stop smoking soon...coz Dear dun like leh...n we both made a pact..if i still smoke aft 3rd Nov i gonna become HER MAID !!! Arghs...no way man....i nv smoke leh she will be my MAID...YAY !!! i muz keep my promise also la...can see her happy can liao...she will also be happy too...den i also bery sorry too Dear..actually promised 2 send u back by 1am de...end up always late..its all my fault...sorry....I Love You !!!

Totally Down...Exasperated...

I slept at ard 6 am...got woke up by my mum's call..she was crying the moment i answered...told mi tat my grandma's condition worsened..told mi 2 rush down to see her for the last time..i was reali reali shocked..as i prepared myself & wash up..i was practically crying through out my bath n changing of clothes..all along these few days i juz sort of had tis feeling tat something bad..something reali bad was comin along..n my feeling damn accurate...i immediately called J & Honey & smsed Jin Hui...i went to pick up J n she straight away pei mi go TTSH...J..reali reali thks alot...i reali reali like u alot alot & appreciate ur care n love...no matter wat other pple may say no matter pple find u ugly or bad or wat...i will still love u for who u ar...i will still always stand by u n love u...cross my heart...reaching the hopsital was reali heart thumping for mi...thanks alot Taxi uncle..i reali appreciate ur fast driving n yet safety..along the way i kept praying hard..i told whoever i believe in to help mi..to let Ah Ma last through a few days...minus a yr of my life span n let her pass through tis few days & see the last of who she hopes to see n talk to...Ah Ma thks alot for ur care..the pens u stole last time for my BDAY..the Special Curry without those veggies & my Scrambled Egg...i will nv 4get those days..pls be in peace n suffer frm no pain..my heart will always be with u !!! Hopefully i can finish most of the things tat u wanna do..Now i juz reach back home..juz now came back in the evening 2 sleep a while & den went back 2 hospital 2 look aft Ah Ma again...den went back at ard 3.30am..nw back at home to blog again..n den sleep..pls...if anyone of u is reading my blog now...pls pls pray together wif mi for a gd n painless ending for my Ah Ma..let her wishes be fulfilled..i Truly & Sincerely Beg u all to pray for mi....my heart reali reali hurts...i can't stop crying ..........................

Back At Home Alone Now..

Now sitting back at my laptop blogging again...juz nw closed shop went 2 do somethings den went to meet a Fren(J)..went Esplanade wif her chill out den sit there talk alot of things...be4 tat went to eat at bugis....seeing her eat also can make mi laugh lor..when she's eating she looks damn cute..haha...like so anxious to finish all the food at one shot lor...kaoz...damn cute n hilarious..den aft tat went her hse there n wait for her to finish bathing den pei mi go watch Man U vs Blackburn lor..aft tat slack ard her hse there den rush hm..Stomach DAMN fucking pain..had 2 go back 2 SHIT IT OUT !!! Nw feeling much better liao...anyway J reali reali thks alot alot for accompanying mi..sorry for making u sleep so little n look so tired...i promise u i try my best to always send u HM early k ? Sorry if u ever find mi a bother...or troublesome...but u reali ar a great great companion....
Later maybe if can wake up wanna go fishing for small fishes...but i need 2 find my stupid Reel ...shit man..got Fishing rod no fishing reel..wat the >>? ? ? I still haven talk wif Toshiba yet..but partly becoz now i also have J's companion..great gal...thank you....

Early Afternoon...

Today seems to be a tired day leh..but i tink i slept enuf liao ma...ytd went to meet Jiahan at her hse there den went 2 East Coast there chill out a while...Jiahan reali thanks alot alot for accompanying mi..u reali ar a great gal n fren...den i went hm n started 2 tink abt Toshiba n why nowadays my mood is bad n y my temper is getting bad...my grandma's condition seems kinda bad now...her whole body swollen now..n she's having difficulty 2 even breathe nw...almost certainly will cry if i see her..i reali reali pity her....plus i recently dun have time 2 go up her hse to visit her..sorry AH Ma...but dun worry i pray tat u will get well soon....or at least last till nxt yr's Chinese New Yr...i noe u reali wanna see all ur family members...i noe tats ur last wish..frm the way u talk 2 mi...jackie u reali disappoint mi very very much...got money i lend u no money nv lend u say i bei steady n u can't feel my brotherly love towards u..when u 'HONG' outside u got tink of mi sometimes alone meh ?Anyway u reali ar a jerk....Jasmine a.k.a Ah Rong i reali reali do miss u alot alot...Honey may not be like u but at least i do trust her the way i trust u & at least she won't desert mi when i need my best fren the most...but i still do silently pin for ur companion back..i need u inside my life too..cause whenever i am down,happy or sad or lonely inside Boys' Home or CPC u were always there for mi..providing mi with care & concern..10 yrs of Friendship..i won''t ever forget u de...ur letters u wrote for mi ...i will always keep it....Meiling the letters,the Birthdays cards u gave mi..i will dump it once i get my revenge on YOU...these little things & ur PIG photo ar the constant STEROIDS tat energise n stablise my HATRED towards u...nv ever make the mistake of coming back into my arms,my presence...cause if u do..its not LOVE frm mi...but a trap frm mi...i will be ur Access Card to HELL !!!

This is my Best Fren...Honey..Win Honey Tunn...she is reali a wonderful listener n problem solver...she is also my Myanmar Maid sometimes...haha...but she reali dotes on mi too..Honey sorry tat i nv go wif u all juz now...

SamaSama

Ytd i went fishing wif my buddies..Edwin,Meishan,Piggy Haixiang & Jia Han..at Pasir Ris Paypond...kaoz..i tink all the fishes were eating vegetarian food ytd lor..none bite my bait...yet still saw 1 malay guy fish out a HUGE garoupa...ARGHHS !!! den beside mi got a group of malay guys keep kana Kim Bak Lor ...my fishing rod like laced wif China's YILI Milk Powder lor...contaminated wif Melamine lor..arbo y they don't eat at all ? Kaoz...actually go Malaysia juz now de...but could not wake up..n tat damn STUPID & DUMB & FAT Haixiang nv wake us up n give mi stupid excuses tat he dun know wat time 2 call us up...kaoz..dun know hw 2 call meh ? PIG !!! Den now actually meeting up with my Dearest Honey,Jonathan,Jane,Guowei,Thomas & Jenn they all de...but i reali quite tired n sad la..so nv go lor..juz put aeroplane like hw Toshiba always put mi...kaoz..today my shp's business quite gd also ...busy until like fuck...i was like practically running ard like an idiot...serving here n there..taking money like nobody's business..happy...I tink i now gonna pack n wash up den close shop den go East Coast fishing ba...tats the only thing tat can cool mi down n let mi think wat i shld do...Praying is another thing...I miss ur voice,ur laughter ard mi n the happiness u bring to mi ....

Troubled....

This is my comeback 2 blogging too....i miss u too Toshiba..i reali don't know whether i reali like Toshiba alrdy...she is a great gal n damn cute n damn noisy but brings laughter 2 mi since i know her..we knew each other at Funan IT show...since then we were almost together every day..she buys mi socks,cooks green bean soup tat i did not dare 2 drink...buy lunch for mi wif my favourtite food(Egg Tofu,Steam Egg),wanna sew a teddy bear for mi,sew a pillow,bakes potatoes for mi n ETC...tis little little things makes mi feels so touched n i reali love the care n concern shown..but she's also the 1st gal 2 make mi explode in anger which i kept so long...the 1st gal 2 walk out on mi too...sometimes i reali do wonder too whether she reali treats mi as a best fren or someone whom she like too....she's attached now..n the pain of being snatched away the gal u loved is something very painful n i can't let her BF suffer the pain i suffered be4...its damn sickening n painful...but i reali seems 2 like her as a best fren or admirer is it ? I keep questioning myself coz no matter where i go..hw much money i left inside my pocket i would wanna buy for her n i would definitely think of her alot alot....is tis reali blossoming LOVE ? she's also got a foul temper like mi n loves disturbing pple...esp Haixiang...lol....she is also damn stubborn like mi but still lose mi lor...haha...i quite a egoistic guy so i still pondering whether i shld call or sms 1st a not...but my guts n ego tells mi not to...but i juz cannot stop thinking of her.....she's making mi go crazy...i reali miss u so much u know ma Toshiba ? I am juz waiting for u 2 call mi,to apologise..tats all...I reali 2 days nv smoke liao...even though i am very very down....

Many days never write blog liao....busy

haiz..this few weeks have been hectic & busy for me....today will be a dangerous n exciting night for me...catherine & me seems to fade away leh..she calls me to chat very seldomly liao...juz two or three times since she reopened school a few weeks ago..haiz...so sad lor..but my feelings are definitely still there k?haiz...abt a week plus ago..a gal confessed her feelings for me & made me so confused...she gives me a chance so wat?i know she is a gd gal but i worry tat i am not gd enough & also i still like catherine alot leh..if i juz go stead like tat,doesn't tat makes mi a flirt & a bastard?but sadly before i made my decision,we quarrelled very fiercely...now everything is over liao..maybe tis is life ba..maybe tis is god's way for me...maybe god juz want me to concentrate on catherine ba...fine then...i will follow god's path for me...at least i wont let down the gal who chose me in the end & can sincerely treat her with my whole n faithful heart.......

Loving someone...

I juz reali hope i can be with her in the near future...if i can i juz wanna hold in her in my arms & tell her sweetly that i love her so so much & i hope i can juz be wif her & no one else...Catherine...i never love someone so fast & so deeply before u know??? You are not a replacement in my heart but a new chapter in my life....knowing u has been the best thing in my broken & complicated life..You really bring so much happiness & laughter into my life.I sincerely that i could change for meiling but now i realised instead tat i could show u my changed lifestyle...show you tat i however not good am i but at least i have a faithful heart towards u & i will never never neglect u....tat's my promise to you Catherine !!! You have been through a lot of bad relationships & you have been cheated but at least pick urself up & let me guide u towards a new chapter into your life...You can take ur time to give me a chance..even if in the end we still cannot be together for a reason...i am satisfied tat at least i kept my promise to you...i will be happy juz to love u quietly from one corner...but my wish is juz to be with u & enjoy a blissful love relationship wif only u..i will never hestitate to sacrifice anything & change anything juz for u...so pls give mi a chance & i will cherish it !!!

THE APPEARANCE OF THE SPECIAL SOMEONE

I juz know her not long ago..juz abt a wk..i know very well tat i already fell in love wif her le..but i asked myself again & again tat was i sure?? Have I reali forgotten Meiling??juz about a yr le..ya..i know if Meiling one day breaks up wif her BF i confirm will be confused again de...tat's y i am not tryin to woo the gal called C....firstly C got a BF & i am a person wif a prison record..i am also not gd enough for her..but her relationship is on the rocks & her every actions makes mi fall even deeper in love wif her..if there's anyone who can really change mi..it's C ba...She is just so natural n beautiful..she is also faithful in love,just naive a bit.haha...but i am reali afraid of being rejected flatly or the pain of losing my loved one again if she does end up wif mi..i reali cannot tolerate the pain ain't no more..i juz feel myself falling deeper into tis HOLE..things are juz happening too damn fast man....i juz dun wanna be a burden to her lah..wat if she dun even give mi a chance???but at least i tried & i was the first guy to buy flowers for her..at least i have this honour...i know it's stupid but i just being crazy lah...haha...being in love always makes someone crazy lah...

just writing my own feelings

I nv treated my ex gal the way i should had n i reali regret it..almost 4yrs of love...but i started to neglect her,chose to be a 'Hero',fight & fight non-stop,clubbing & work.It's not that i want it too but i was really working hard to support myself & give a better life..i was only loving & faithful towards her...ya..i was not a gd guy at all but at least i tried my best to love her with my heart..but u know time change pple change her heart also change...she went off with another guy when i was inside the prison..told mi that she already informed be4 hand tat she may not be waiting for mi...EXCUSES !!! She got together with him in june but sent mi the one & only letter in august asking for a breakup!!!wat the???my heart really hurts...i dun even know wat to do then but tears juz kept flowing down.....I have nv nv LOVE someone so much & so seriously & she treats mi tis way...ask mi to grant her her happiness...isn't her happiness in her own hands?? Isn't she already together wif tat BASTARD ???wat happiness can i grant more???LAME SHIT...IS THERE REALLY TRUE LOVE???

Sad Day....

haiz...i just got dumped in a almost 4yrs relationship...did not really know how to pick myself up again...haiz...it was really a difficult process for me..i really gave my all...n i really didn't know wat to do.....till i met HER.........she's so so natural & beautiful in her own way..she enchants people unknowingly,i am lost n i feel like being in puppy love again...she's got a BF but their relationship are on the rocks..i am not trying to k advantage of the situation but i juz know i need her badly to stabilise myself...i am struggling to fit back normally into the society again..tis gal makes mi feel so brave & courageous again...but wat should i do to win her fragile heart??? I reali wan her to know tat i will be a wonderful BF to her,definitely a better BF than her present one...but i am afraid of REJECTION !!! Above is the gal who dumped mi for another IDiot !!! She Sucks Right ? U destroyed my life...